Jonathan Rogers’ translation of the legendary “Ballad of Lanric and Rube” is much funnier than Eezak Fencher’s, probably because Jonathan Rogers is much funnier than Eezak Fencher (despite Eezak’s much funnier name). There was some rumor early on that Dr. Rogers was thinking of writing a story about someone trying to sell toothy cow milk under the pretense that it has healing qualities. That would have been an killer story, as would something swamp-related (he is great at swamps) or one about daggerfish wrestling. Either way, he ended up writing this one, and I could not be more pleased.
This ballad is best read out loud. You can also read along while Dr. Rogers reads to you (the first several stanzas, at least). 🙂
At the edge of the forest, where fazzle doves chorus
And the Keekle flows bubbly and clear,
Two farm families neighbored. Together they labored
Side by side, year after year.
The Rumley-A’Catos grew heirloom totatoes,
The Adoob family, shellery and charrots.
They shared what they grew to make prize-winning stews
And soups of incomparable merit.
The farmwives were cousins. Between them a dozen
Stout farmchildren filled out their brood.
So those dozen cousins I guess were fourth cousins.
No— first cousins two times removed?
Third cousins? Whatever. The point is, forever
These families had loved one another.
And the bond was the strongest between the two youngest—
Third cousins who seemed more like brothers.
What was your favorite stanza in this ballad? Post it below! Then join us in the forum for some lively debate on whether you’d rather wrestle a daggerfish or an alligator, or how you would go about peddling toothy cow milk, or anything else about this story.